Update

I wish I could say that I haven't really been blogging because there hasn't been anything going on but I think it's been so much but in such tiny morsels here and there. It really hasn't really felt like much at the time but looking back it's been a very, very busy few months.

So okay, I've recently really gotten involved with GenderBride which was the group I was mostly talking about last time. I'm now their coordinator since it became vacant and I wanted to volunteer. It's pretty sweet. I'm 100% immersed there and supported 100% on it. I keep getting called guy and bloke by the Kiwi's I work with and each time it just is like a huge boost to my esteem. I'm finding I'm just generally more happy. I can have intense anxiety about social situations but I haven't once felt it there. I've got some really great friends there too now, which is really nice in and of itself. Shan's also finding a lot of support with other partners which is great for her. She's come around almost completely. She still slips and calls me 'she' but she's working on it. She's even on the board of GenderBridge.

We also went to a NZTransguys party and met some other guys. One guy had his chest done in August and it looked AMAZING. He had a keyhole surgery so it wouldn't be the results I had at all, but Shan was fascinated by how good he looked. He had been transitioning for 2 years and looked flawless. He was 17-19 when he started so he's still young, but still, it was the total ideal you know? Looked more like a guy than a lot of guys I've known in my life.

On the medical front, I had an appointment with an Endocrinologist named Dr. Ian Holdaway. He is very familiar with the transition process and very thorough during our first session. He gave me a check up and we talked T options. He likes to go gently, often prescribing pills instead of shots to start with low dosages. He doesn't like "jarring the body" with high doses of T in general, it was a long discussion before he would consider giving me 50-100mg versus 25mg shots to start.

But first I had to get my psych clearance. Dr. Holdaway first referred me to Dr. Louise Armstrong, but after 5 weeks she finally got back to him to inform him she wasn't taking patients. So I was then referred to Dr. Ian Goodwin and was in to see him within two weeks. Shan came with me and by the time our session was done, he gave the thumbs up and was 100% behind me getting on T and pursuing this. Since it had been 7 weeks since my appointment with Holdaway I set up an appointment in advance to meet with Holdaway again so that he could do my prescription and we could get this ball rolling. Dr. Goodwin was willing to expedite his letter for me, instead of two weeks he had it done and sent out in two days.

So yesterday I met with Holdaway again. This time Shan was able to come and we had a lot of the same conversations. He was set on pills (which I've heard nothing but horror stories about in US blogs and I'm not keen on), then he suggested the cream (which can rub off onto Shan and since she has PCOS - Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome - and that means she has too much testosterone for her parts to work properly... so I didn't want her getting any more through me). He then suggested the patch, which we talked about me not having a good history of patches. I break out with them and have a tendency to pick things off of me (like bandaids or patches) if they piss me off. We then talked about doing implants as well, which is WAY out of my price range considering it'd have to be done in the hospital and I'd have to pay for that.

It seemed like he was really beating around giving me the shots, like any option was better. But then we had the same conversation, he wanted to start me off at 25mg for 3 months, then up to 50 for 2, then 75 for 2 then 100. And it was like, WTF? We already talked this out buddy. It took about 10 minutes and a lot of everything to get him to agree to the 50 to start, and even that might change before my first shot. I hope to god he doesn't give me 25 or I'll just add 25 more at home. I'm going to be getting a 1000cc bottle to self administer at home. It is a lot better option than the 100 bottles that are single use, so I'd be tossing a lot of T out because I couldn't use it. It just wasn't financially sound either. The bigger bottle was just a better choice for me.

So tomorrow, I have my first shot. The nurses are going to teach Shan how to do the shots so we can do it at home from now on. I will also get paperwork to do a blood test in three weeks to just see where my testosterone levels are. I won't have to see him for 3 months at that point to do a full check up and see where I am and how I'm doing with everything. I won't find out until tomorrow if he went with 25 or 50 but I hope larger. He's considering it because I have slightly elevated testosterone levels already. The average girl has a level of 2, boys have from 8-30. I had 3.5. Oooh. So HIGH. *sarcasm inserted*. He also worries about my blood thickening too much or my cholesterol getting bad but it's just undue concern. I have a great cholesterol level and I feel like I have really thin blood (mostly cause it takes me forever to heal from anything). But who knows.


Alright so below is what I am going to call my 'Stats' section. I'm going to record a bunch of different things as I transition to see how I progress.

Weight: 285 lb (130kg)
Libido: Kinda there but not pressing.
Skin: Broke out a little before my last menstruation but cleared up. A couple little blemishes under my breasts from where sweat has accumulated while binding. Nothing big or noticeable. Skin is mostly clear, non oily.
Hair: I generally have thinner hair. I just got my hair cut and it is still growing pretty quickly. No existing bald spots or masculine hairline.
Body Hair: Pits and legs. Light arm hair, very fine facial peach fuzz and happy trail.
Dosage: Not on T.
Amount of time on T: Not on T.
Build: Overweight, 5'9.5", decent leg, arm, and shoulder strength, poor back strength
Menstruation: Finished a very light cycle today. Only a couple days long and light the whole way through.
Energy Level: Low energy. Worked out yesterday and over worked stomach so it's sore to move which is given me as much excuse as I need to not go to the gym today.
Voice: Normal pre-T voice. Alto vocal range.

Misc: Shoe size 10.5 US

If anyone wants anything else tracked, let me know.